Today is the day we say goodbye to my mom. She was an amazing woman.  She taught middle school English, and was a light to those around her.  As I stand at the graveside, surrounded by family, my thoughts turn to the grandchildren and great-grandchildren who will be joining us to bid their farewells. Their young hearts are grappling with the weight of loss, and it’s their journey through grief that inspired this blog. Here are some strategies to support children in grief:

Children need to feel safe to express their feelings. Encourage open communication and let them know it’s okay to talk about their emotions. Assure them that their feelings are normal and that it’s okay to cry, be angry, feel sad, or even to be happy.  
Just like adults children can experience emotions all over the board, and it is normal.  Be there for them, and ready to talk when they are ready to talk.  

When explaining death and loss, use clear and age-appropriate language. Avoid euphemisms that can confuse children. For example, say “died” instead of “passed away” to help them understand the permanence of the situation.  
Imagine the fear of being told that "Grandma went to sleep".  Would you want to take a nap, or go to be after that?  Keep in mind that kids have a very pure way of looking at things when you explain things to them.

Children may have many questions about death. Answer their questions honestly and simply, without overwhelming them with too much information. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s okay to say so and to explore the answer together.
There are a lot of books around grief for children.  Reading together is a great way to give children an opportunity to ask questions.  Don't be suppressed or get upset.

Keeping regular routines can provide a sense of stability and security during a time of loss. While it’s important to allow time for grieving, maintaining daily activities can help children feel more secure and provide a sense of normalcy.  But remember that including them in age appropriate family gatherings or activities can help them with their grief, as much as it helps you.
Imagine if you went to your aunts house and had a great time.  Then you never see her again.  This happened to me.  MY parents did not know how to talk about grief to me, and so I grew up thinking my aunt did not love me anymore when in reality she had died in her sleep that night.  Had I been allowed to attend the funeral, I would have known my aunt still loved me, and that she had died. 

Children often express their feelings through play, drawing, or writing. Provide them with materials and opportunities to express their emotions creatively. Activities like drawing pictures, writing letters, or playing can help them process their grief.
When I had a baby born without breath I told my other children about their sister.  I explained that she is up with Heavenly Father.  I am not sure how it started, maybe one of the kids let go of a balloon and got upset, So I told them the balloon went to their sister.  All I know is that when I got the kids balloons they had to get one for Christiana, then when outside they would let go of the balloon for their sister.  Sometimes it can be the little things.

Grieving is a process that takes time, and every child’s experience is different. Be patient and understanding, and avoid rushing them through their emotions. Let them grieve at their own pace and offer consistent support.
How would you feel if you where told that you had 1 week to grief, and after that you are done.  That is not how grief works.  Take it from me, it can sneak up on you years later from out of the blue, and you find yourself crying over a song.
If the grief seems to be to deep, or you have concern about it then please seek out a counselor, therapist or support group.

Children learn by observing adults. Show them healthy ways to grieve by expressing your own emotions openly and talking about your feelings. This can help normalize the grieving process and show them that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions.

Children may worry about their own safety or the safety of other loved ones after a death. Reassure them that they are safe and that their feelings are valid. Provide comfort and let them know that it’s normal to have fears and concerns.
The child may not want you to leave the the room, or they may not want to go to bed because they are concerned they will not wake up, or you may not come back.  Give them time, and encouragement but keep from telling them something that is not true such as you will not die.  Just remember to be honest with them.

If a child’s grief seems overwhelming or prolonged, consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist who specializes in child grief. Professional support can provide additional resources and strategies to help children cope with their loss. 

Finding ways to remember and celebrate the loved one who has died can be a healing process for children. Encourage them to share memories, create a memory box, or participate in rituals that honor the person’s life. This can provide a sense of continuity and connection.

Supporting a grieving child requires empathy, patience, and open communication. By creating a safe environment, using clear language, and encouraging healthy expressions of grief, you can help children navigate their emotions and begin to heal. Remember that every child grieves differently, and ongoing support is key to helping them through this challenging time. If you need additional resources or guidance, don’t hesitate to seek professional support.

The Power of Evidence-Based Parenting: A Guide to Raising Happy and Healthy Children.  In the vast world of parenting advice, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tips, tricks, and strategies available. From well-meaning relatives to popular blogs and social media influencers, everyone seems to have their own take on the best way to raise children. But how do you know which advice to follow? Enter evidence-based parenting—a scientifically backed approach to raising children that’s rooted in rigorous research and proven practices.
What is Evidence-Based Parenting? Evidence-based parenting involves using strategies and techniques that have been scientifically tested and proven to be effective. Unlike anecdotal advice or traditional practices that may not always work, evidence-based parenting relies on empirical evidence from studies in child development, psychology, and education. This approach ensures that the methods you use to raise your children are supported by data and research.

Why Choose Evidence-Based Parenting?
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1. Reliability: Evidence-based practices are backed by extensive research, often involving large, diverse groups of children and families. This means you can trust that the strategies are effective across different settings and populations.
2. Effectiveness: These practices have been tested and shown to work in real-life scenarios, ensuring that you are using the most effective methods to support your child’s development and well-being.
3. Adaptability: While evidence-based strategies are grounded in research, they are also flexible and can be adapted to fit your unique family dynamics and cultural context.
4. Continuous Improvement: The field of child development is always evolving, and evidence-based practices are regularly updated to reflect the latest research findings. This means you are always using the most current and effective methods.

​How to Implement Evidence-Based Parenting
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1. Stay Informed: Keep up with the latest research in child development and parenting. Look for reputable sources, such as academic journals, books by experts, and credible websites.
2. Seek Professional Guidance: Don’t hesitate to consult with child psychologists, pediatricians, or parenting coaches who use evidence-based approaches. They can provide personalized advice and support.
3. Join Parenting Programs: Participate in evidence-based parenting programs like Triple P or PCIT. These programs offer structured guidance and practical tools to help you implement effective parenting strategies.
4. Reflect and Adapt: Regularly reflect on your parenting practices and their effectiveness. Be open to adapting and refining your strategies based on what works best for your child and family.

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​Conclusion
 
​Evidence-based parenting offers a reliable and effective approach to raising children. By relying on scientifically validated methods, you can navigate the complexities of parenting with confidence, knowing that you are providing the best possible support for your child’s growth and development. Embrace the power of evidence-based parenting and watch your children thrive in a nurturing and supportive environment.